relationship — Blog — Kristen Alexis Cave

What I Wish Someone Would Have Said To Me About My Singleness

I tossed and turned last night for hours thinking about writing this post. I didn't want Valentine's week to pass without giving you some sort of encouragement or hope in regards to what this week represents. But I also didn't want this to be just another article about surviving Valentine's Day being single. So last night as I was thinking and praying about what I was going to write, I came across a quote from one of my favorite bloggers. She said, "Be who you needed when you were younger." It was such a simple statement, but so profound at the same time. If we all took this advice, I truly believe the people coming up behind us would be a whole lot better off. They would feel encouraged where we felt discouraged. They would feel excited where we felt nervous. And they would feel hopeful where we felt hopeless.

Kristen CaveFebruary 13, 2020singleness, dating, single, relationships, relationship, lonely, loneliness, purpose, value, sovereignty, kristen alexis campComment

5 Ways To Make Your Friendships Thrive

Friendships are just like any relationship in that they take both people investing and pouring into the friendship to make it work. I’m sure somewhere on Pinterest there is a forever-long list of things you should do to ensure you’ll have great friendships. But I just want to talk about five specific ways to be a good friend that I’ve seen work in my own life. I firmly believe that in doing these five things, you will not only be a fantastic friend, but your friendships will thrive for years to come.

Kristen CaveOctober 18, 2019relationship, relationships, friend, friendship, friends, best friend, honesty, advice, questions, support, envy, accountable, accountability, kristen alexis campComment

To The Girl With The Broken Heart

Getting your heart broken can feel like you got the wind knocked out of you, like a sudden blow you didn’t see coming that instantly makes you unable to catch your breath. Initially, the impact of heartbreak is disorienting and confusing. You start asking yourself questions like, “How did this happen?”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, and my very favorite “What am I going to do now?” You question your worth. You question your identity, and you question your future, realizing your life just changed in a matter of minutes and you never saw it coming.

4 Tips For Navigating Long Distance Friendships

For this week’s post, I have a very special treat for you! My best friend of 14 years, Melanie Hobson, is dropping in as a guest writer, and I couldn’t be more excited! Not only is Melanie my closest friend, she is also one of the godliest, wisest, and most wonderful people I know. My growth as a follower of Christ, as a friend, and as a human being in general has been impacted so much by her influence. So I wanted her to have the opportunity to influence and encourage you just like she so often does for me! I hope you enjoy her post as she talks through 4 tips for navigating long distance friendships. Enjoy!

26 Things I Learned Before Turning 26

Yesterday, I turned 26.

Wow - writing that down makes it feel very real. Although, the lady at Chick-fil-A yesterday told me I look like I’m still in high school…so I guess that means I’m aging well? Either way, I’m now closer to 30 than 20. What a terrifying and exciting reality all rolled into one!

I’ve learned a lot in my twenties so far. In fact, I’ve learned a lot in life so far. So with that in mind, I thought I would follow Taylor Swift’s lead and make a list of 26 things I learned before turning 26. Here we go.

Looking Back On 2018: Seeing The Purpose In Your Pain

As the end of the year approaches, many of us are starting to map out our goals, dreams, and expectations for 2019. Knowing January is just around the corner instills so much hope and excitement for what’s to come. But before all of the planning and prepping begins, I like to take some time and meditate on everything that’s happened over the past 12 months. December has become a month of reflection for me. And this year, more so than years past, there’s a lot to think about.

I started this year by hearing “no” about a job I had interviewed for as I attempted to pursue a career change. Another “no” came in March, and then another in April, and another in June. In February, my little sister experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm, leaving us all wondering if she was going to make it. Then a few weeks later, I was the maid of honor in a friend’s wedding, and while that was so fun, I once again wrestled with the doubting voice in my head that kept saying, “Is it ever going to be my turn?”

What Kind Of Legacy Do You Want To Leave?

I refuse to believe that I was put on this earth to just focus on myself and what I want to do and where I want to go and what I want to obtain. Jesus didn’t live that way. Mrs. Layne didn’t live that way. And I don’t want to live that way either.

Jesus’ entire life on earth was dedicated to ministering to other people and preparing the way for them to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father. He didn’t spend His time being selfish or self-focused, but rather He spent his days looking for ways to care for the people around Him. And if we are going to call ourselves followers of Christ, shouldn’t we have the same mentality about our own lives?

What I Learned In The Holy Land

The reason why I was wearing modern day Jesus sandals in the middle of the New York airport wasn’t because I was experimenting with my fashion sense. It was because where I was headed, the walks would be long, the weather would be hot, and the terrain would be dusty. And in true Kristen fashion, I wanted to be prepared. But what I didn’t know is that I never could have prepared myself enough to see and experience the places where those shoes would accompany me to.

For ten days, I had the opportunity to tour all throughout The Holy Land. I went to Jericho and Bethany and Capernaum and Galilee and Bethlehem and Jerusalem. I traveled all over the area, seeing with my own eyes places I’d been reading about and hearing about since I was a little girl. I got to see where Jesus lived and slept and walked and healed and preached and died. My faith came alive more in those ten days than it ever had, because these places weren’t just settings of stories to me anymore. They were real.

Character Lasts, Good Looks Don't

Have you ever been sitting in a Starbucks when a guy walks in and you think, “Dang I want my husband to look like that”? Or maybe you were scrolling through Instagram and saw a guy who was your type down to the green specks in his eyes and the type of shoes he was wearing. You start making mental notes or you add to your “list” more and more physical attributes you’d like for your husband to have. Brown/blonde hair, blue eyes, a pretty smile, at least 6’2, and an athletic build were just a few that showed up on my list the first time I wrote it out. (Don’t judge me.)

It’s funny for me to look back on that version of my list now and see how detailed I was about what I wanted my husband to look like. I wrote down things about his height, his hair color, whether or not he had tattoos, even the way he dressed. But over the past few years, my list has had several updated drafts. And in all the ways my list has changed, it’s shifted the most in regards to my standards on appearance. Because if I’ve learned anything about dating and relationships, it’s that there’s more to a person than how they look.

Bloom Where You're Planted - A Guide To Creating Your Seasonal Bucket List

The whole point in making this list is to take advantage of where you are at this point in your life, instead of waiting around and thinking your life won’t start until you get to the next season.

Thinking about your life through this lens is an absolute game changer. Everyone and everything around us tries so hard to convince us that life is better once you get to the next stage or the next event or the next milestone. Being content where you are isn’t exactly the most marketable lifestyle in our culture. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be content, or even excited about where we are.

How To Keep Going When The Doors Keep Closing

Have you ever been in a season where nothing seems to go your way? You get excited for this opportunity or that possibility, but then things don’t work out how you wanted them to. One door closes, and then another, and then another. You keep trying to make something happen, but with no luck. And eventually you get to the point where you’re afraid to walk up to another door because you don’t want to be disappointed if it closes too.

I get it. Shattered dreams, unfulfilled expectations, failures, they’re all disheartening. And when they come in multitudes, it’s that much more difficult to keep going. I don’t know about you, but I can only get knocked down so many times before I’m ready to just sit on the ground for a little while.

3 Questions To Help You Shift Your Focus From Discouragement To Joy

Have you ever had a season in your life when you feel like God is repeating Himself to you? Like no matter where you go or what you’re doing, you keep hearing the same message or the same passage of Scripture over and over again?

I know you can't see me while you’re reading this, but I’m currently nodding my head so hard; because that’s exactly the way I feel like it’s been in my own life for the past couple of months.

In The Midst Of Your Waiting, He Is Working

January 2nd. It’s the day when your alarm clock rings a little louder and more obnoxiously than usual. The day when a single cup of coffee just won’t cut it. The day that makes you wish you were still in college and had another week to sleep in and eat an undisclosed number of calories.

Nevertheless, I woke up on that dreaded second day of the year and prepared to face the day. (Translated: By some miracle of God, I rolled out of bed and managed to pour myself enough coffee to shock me back to life.)

When Did Our Phones Become More Important Than Our Friends?

A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in traffic on my way from homework (yay for living in Atlanta). I was just minding my own business, enjoying my jam session to Taylor Swift, when I looked to my right and noticed something.

There was a couple, seemingly married, sitting at a table outside a local restaurant. The weather was great, making it perfect for an evening out. Their dog was chilling out underneath the table as they casually sipped on some sweet tea. It looked like the picture perfect date night. Except for one thing...