As the end of the year approaches, many of us are starting to map out our goals, dreams, and expectations for 2019. Knowing January is just around the corner instills so much hope and excitement for what’s to come. But before all of the planning and prepping begins, I like to take some time and meditate on everything that’s happened over the past 12 months. December has become a month of reflection for me. And this year, more so than years past, there’s a lot to think about.

I started this year by hearing “no” about a job I had interviewed for as I attempted to pursue a career change. Another “no” came in March, and then another in April, and another in June. In February, my little sister experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm, leaving us all wondering if she was going to make it. Then a few weeks later, I was the maid of honor in a friend’s wedding, and while that was so fun, I once again wrestled with the doubting voice in my head that kept saying, “Is it ever going to be my turn?”