Jesus — Blog — Kristen Alexis Cave

Looking Back On 2018: Seeing The Purpose In Your Pain

As the end of the year approaches, many of us are starting to map out our goals, dreams, and expectations for 2019. Knowing January is just around the corner instills so much hope and excitement for what’s to come. But before all of the planning and prepping begins, I like to take some time and meditate on everything that’s happened over the past 12 months. December has become a month of reflection for me. And this year, more so than years past, there’s a lot to think about.

I started this year by hearing “no” about a job I had interviewed for as I attempted to pursue a career change. Another “no” came in March, and then another in April, and another in June. In February, my little sister experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm, leaving us all wondering if she was going to make it. Then a few weeks later, I was the maid of honor in a friend’s wedding, and while that was so fun, I once again wrestled with the doubting voice in my head that kept saying, “Is it ever going to be my turn?”

What Kind Of Legacy Do You Want To Leave?

I refuse to believe that I was put on this earth to just focus on myself and what I want to do and where I want to go and what I want to obtain. Jesus didn’t live that way. Mrs. Layne didn’t live that way. And I don’t want to live that way either.

Jesus’ entire life on earth was dedicated to ministering to other people and preparing the way for them to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father. He didn’t spend His time being selfish or self-focused, but rather He spent his days looking for ways to care for the people around Him. And if we are going to call ourselves followers of Christ, shouldn’t we have the same mentality about our own lives?

What I Learned In The Holy Land

The reason why I was wearing modern day Jesus sandals in the middle of the New York airport wasn’t because I was experimenting with my fashion sense. It was because where I was headed, the walks would be long, the weather would be hot, and the terrain would be dusty. And in true Kristen fashion, I wanted to be prepared. But what I didn’t know is that I never could have prepared myself enough to see and experience the places where those shoes would accompany me to.

For ten days, I had the opportunity to tour all throughout The Holy Land. I went to Jericho and Bethany and Capernaum and Galilee and Bethlehem and Jerusalem. I traveled all over the area, seeing with my own eyes places I’d been reading about and hearing about since I was a little girl. I got to see where Jesus lived and slept and walked and healed and preached and died. My faith came alive more in those ten days than it ever had, because these places weren’t just settings of stories to me anymore. They were real.

To The Girl Who Doesn't Like What She Sees In The Mirror

A couple months ago, a friend of mine was getting ready for an upcoming beach trip. We were talking about what she was going to pack and the different outfits she wanted to bring. After several pieces of clothing had been thrown into the reject pile on her bedroom floor, I could tell she was starting to get frustrated. I had a feeling I knew what was wrong, so I was careful when I asked her if she was okay. She let out a big puff of air before she responded, and then she said this:

“It’s just annoying because I’m not a size 2 like all of my friends who are going on this trip, and I don’t feel good in anything, and I wish I was skinnier.”

Character Lasts, Good Looks Don't

Have you ever been sitting in a Starbucks when a guy walks in and you think, “Dang I want my husband to look like that”? Or maybe you were scrolling through Instagram and saw a guy who was your type down to the green specks in his eyes and the type of shoes he was wearing. You start making mental notes or you add to your “list” more and more physical attributes you’d like for your husband to have. Brown/blonde hair, blue eyes, a pretty smile, at least 6’2, and an athletic build were just a few that showed up on my list the first time I wrote it out. (Don’t judge me.)

It’s funny for me to look back on that version of my list now and see how detailed I was about what I wanted my husband to look like. I wrote down things about his height, his hair color, whether or not he had tattoos, even the way he dressed. But over the past few years, my list has had several updated drafts. And in all the ways my list has changed, it’s shifted the most in regards to my standards on appearance. Because if I’ve learned anything about dating and relationships, it’s that there’s more to a person than how they look.