dating — Blog — Kristen Alexis Cave

Don't Let Anyone Discourage You From Having Standards

Ten years ago, I sat in the back of my parents’ mini van on the way to my first college tour. My mom and I were chatting away about all of the exciting things that would be coming up in the next few years: graduating high school, moving into a dorm and of course, dating college boys. It was during that conversation that my mom encouraged me to make a list — that is, a list of traits and characteristics I was looking for in a guy. This way, I would have standards to go by, making it much more difficult for me to settle for just any boy who came along.

Kristen CaveApril 23, 2020list, standards, relationships, datingComment

What I Wish Someone Would Have Said To Me About My Singleness

I tossed and turned last night for hours thinking about writing this post. I didn't want Valentine's week to pass without giving you some sort of encouragement or hope in regards to what this week represents. But I also didn't want this to be just another article about surviving Valentine's Day being single. So last night as I was thinking and praying about what I was going to write, I came across a quote from one of my favorite bloggers. She said, "Be who you needed when you were younger." It was such a simple statement, but so profound at the same time. If we all took this advice, I truly believe the people coming up behind us would be a whole lot better off. They would feel encouraged where we felt discouraged. They would feel excited where we felt nervous. And they would feel hopeful where we felt hopeless.

Kristen CaveFebruary 13, 2020singleness, dating, single, relationships, relationship, lonely, loneliness, purpose, value, sovereignty, kristen alexis campComment

Looking Back On 2018: Seeing The Purpose In Your Pain

As the end of the year approaches, many of us are starting to map out our goals, dreams, and expectations for 2019. Knowing January is just around the corner instills so much hope and excitement for what’s to come. But before all of the planning and prepping begins, I like to take some time and meditate on everything that’s happened over the past 12 months. December has become a month of reflection for me. And this year, more so than years past, there’s a lot to think about.

I started this year by hearing “no” about a job I had interviewed for as I attempted to pursue a career change. Another “no” came in March, and then another in April, and another in June. In February, my little sister experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm, leaving us all wondering if she was going to make it. Then a few weeks later, I was the maid of honor in a friend’s wedding, and while that was so fun, I once again wrestled with the doubting voice in my head that kept saying, “Is it ever going to be my turn?”

Character Lasts, Good Looks Don't

Have you ever been sitting in a Starbucks when a guy walks in and you think, “Dang I want my husband to look like that”? Or maybe you were scrolling through Instagram and saw a guy who was your type down to the green specks in his eyes and the type of shoes he was wearing. You start making mental notes or you add to your “list” more and more physical attributes you’d like for your husband to have. Brown/blonde hair, blue eyes, a pretty smile, at least 6’2, and an athletic build were just a few that showed up on my list the first time I wrote it out. (Don’t judge me.)

It’s funny for me to look back on that version of my list now and see how detailed I was about what I wanted my husband to look like. I wrote down things about his height, his hair color, whether or not he had tattoos, even the way he dressed. But over the past few years, my list has had several updated drafts. And in all the ways my list has changed, it’s shifted the most in regards to my standards on appearance. Because if I’ve learned anything about dating and relationships, it’s that there’s more to a person than how they look.

Bloom Where You're Planted - A Guide To Creating Your Seasonal Bucket List

The whole point in making this list is to take advantage of where you are at this point in your life, instead of waiting around and thinking your life won’t start until you get to the next season.

Thinking about your life through this lens is an absolute game changer. Everyone and everything around us tries so hard to convince us that life is better once you get to the next stage or the next event or the next milestone. Being content where you are isn’t exactly the most marketable lifestyle in our culture. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be content, or even excited about where we are.

How To Keep Going When The Doors Keep Closing

Have you ever been in a season where nothing seems to go your way? You get excited for this opportunity or that possibility, but then things don’t work out how you wanted them to. One door closes, and then another, and then another. You keep trying to make something happen, but with no luck. And eventually you get to the point where you’re afraid to walk up to another door because you don’t want to be disappointed if it closes too.

I get it. Shattered dreams, unfulfilled expectations, failures, they’re all disheartening. And when they come in multitudes, it’s that much more difficult to keep going. I don’t know about you, but I can only get knocked down so many times before I’m ready to just sit on the ground for a little while.