26 Things I Learned Before Turning 26
Yesterday, I turned 26.
Wow - writing that down makes it feel very real. Although, the lady at Chick-fil-A yesterday told me I look like I’m still in high school…so I guess that means I’m aging well? Either way, I’m now closer to 30 than 20. What a terrifying and exciting reality all rolled into one!
I’ve learned a lot in my twenties so far. In fact, I’ve learned a lot in life so far. So with that in mind, I thought I would follow Taylor Swift’s lead and make a list of 26 things I learned before turning 26. Here we go.
Perfection is unattainable.
I’ve always known this is true, but sometimes I still think I can get pretty darn close. And then I mess up and am quickly reminded of how I fall short. I’ve learned there’s no point in beating myself up for mistakes I’m inevitably going to make. Jesus lived a sinless life, knowing I was incapable of doing so. He’s never expected perfection from me, so why should I expect it from myself?
Criticizing yourself gets you nowhere.
I look back at pictures of me in high school, and I hate that I was so hard on myself. I was constantly pointing out things in the mirror I didn’t like. I was my own worst critic, but that didn’t change the way I looked. Criticizing yourself will make you lose confidence so much faster than it will make you lose weight. Trust me on that.
Learn how to pop the car hood before getting the oil changed.
Popping the hood on a car is normally pretty simple right? Wrong. Apparently in some cars, the lever to pop the hood is in a less-than-obvious place. So to avoid looking clueless at the oil changing place, figure out where this lever is beforehand. You’ll thank me later.
Listening to God is just as important as talking to Him.
I’m a big proponent of praying about anything and everything. Nothing is too big or too small for you to take to your Heavenly Father. But just like any relationship, your conversations shouldn't be one sided. This year my mentor challenged me to start taking time to be quiet and listen to God. I can’t even tell you how my faith has grown since I took her advice.
Mentors are a must.
Speaking of mentors, you should get one if you don’t have one already. I didn’t have a mentor up until three years ago, but I will never not have one again. The wisdom, encouragement, and truth they have to offer is invaluable. And who doesn’t want more wisdom in their life?
Vulnerability encourages vulnerability.
If you’re open and vulnerable with the people in your life, they will begin to be open and vulnerable with you. It’s just that simple.
A short note can go a long way.
This one might be specific to my friends whose love language is also words of affirmation, but I love getting a random note from someone. I have a binder full of notes I’ve kept, and I go read them when I’m having a bad day. You don’t have to write a four page letter, but you never know how your words can affect someone.
Putting eyeliner in your inner corner is not a good idea.
Girls, take my advice. Black eyeliner in the corner of your eye makes your eyes look smaller and scarier. Look at any of my high school Facebook pictures if you need proof. Put some highlighter in your inner corner instead and I promise you won’t regret it.
You're never too young to gain wisdom.
For the longest time, I thought I had to be in my 40s or 50s to be considered “wise.” By that point I should have plenty of life experience and a few decades under my belt to constitute wisdom. But that’s just not true. You’re never too young to start becoming wise. Surround yourself with wise people. Ask God to give you wisdom. Don’t limit yourself because you think you’re too young.
Write down your prayers.
I started doing this in high school, and my only regret about starting then is that I didn’t start sooner. Writing down your prayers gives you a paper trail to see God’s work in your life over the years, and it’s a wonderful way to be reminded of His faithfulness.
Rejection isn’t always personal.
After being told no for seven different job opportunities within 18 months, I became very accustomed to rejection. At first I took it really personally, thinking there was something wrong with me. But that wasn’t true in every case. Sure there were jobs I wasn’t as qualified for. But with other jobs, I was told I did everything right, and someone else was just a better fit. At the end of the day, rejection should grow you, but it should never define you.
Pray for the friend who is getting what you want.
Three years ago, three of my closest friends got engaged within six months of each other. It was a difficult season to walk through for sure, because I was watching them all get something I really wanted. But then I started praying for them. I started praying for their marriages, their husbands, their growth, their stress levels, anything I could think of. It was amazing to see how my heart changed once I started praying those prayers.
Questions go further than opinions.
I had a boss in college who would refuse to give me his opinion when I asked him a question. Instead, he would answer me with another question. He wanted me to come to my own conclusions based off my own thinking, not based off his opinion. I’ve tried adopting this method over the past few years. Instead of just blurting out what I think in a conversation, I ask questions instead. People always seem to be much more open, honest, and vulnerable with that approach.
Learning how to do a cute messy bun is life changing.
This took me YEARS to master, but my life has never been the same. Get on YouTube and watch some tutorials. Here is one to get you started.
People are watching you.
Being an older sibling taught me this. Whether you realize it or not, people (especially people younger than you) are watching how you talk, how you dress, how you act, how you react, and how you carry yourself. Give them an example worth following.
Pleasing everyone is impossible.
This is a difficult one for me to come to terms with. I want everyone to agree with everything I say and every decision I make. But as we say in the south, “That just ain’t gonna happen.” Don’t run yourself ragged trying to convince everyone that you’re doing the right thing. You will only have one person to answer to one day, so focus on pleasing Him instead of everyone else.
Relationships are about give and take.
Relationships cannot thrive if they are one sided. You can’t do all the giving, but you also can’t do all the taking. Compromise is a must. And if someone isn’t willing to compromise, then it might be time for you to walk away.
God is not withholding anything good from you.
Go read Psalm 84:11. If something were God’s best for you right now, you would have it. He doesn’t withhold His best from His children. Period.
Your priorities are yours to make.
What’s important to you might not be important to other people, and vice versa. But don’t let other people dictate your priorities (see #16). If you like alone time, make a point to have alone time. If spending time with your family is important, then go hangout with your family. Just don’t neglect something you love because someone else says you should.
Shop at Aldi.
You will save SO MUCH MONEY.
Find a place to unplug.
For me, this is driving across a dam over the lake near my house. Because I’m driving, I can’t use my phone. So I roll the windows down, let the music play, and just take time to be, all without looking at a screen.
It’s never too late to forgive someone.
My best friend taught me this. She and I had a year long fight during our freshman year of college. We were the furthest thing from being friends during that time. When most people would have just called it quits and moved on, we chose to forgive each other. Our friendship has been stronger ever since. So when you ask yourself, “Is it too late now to say sorry?” - the answer is always no.
Never jog up the stairs in a movie theater.
Just don’t do it. You’ll trip. You’ll fall. You’ll hurt yourself. Your mom will laugh at you for years to come. And you’ll be scarred forever. So for the love of all that is holy, take your time walking up the stairs and hold onto the rail.
Don’t just find good friends...keep them.
Finding good friends gets harder and harder after you finish school. Keeping them is hard no matter what stage of life you’re in. So take the time to invest in your friendships. Make a phone call. Schedule a coffee date. Meet in the middle. You, and your friend, will be really glad you did.
Take a lot of pictures and videos.
No one ever says, “I took too many pictures of this moment.” They only say, “I wish I had taken more pictures of this moment.” So take silly, unflattering pictures and record dumb, funny moments. You don’t have to post all of them. Just don’t delete them.
Sometimes having faith means jumping with both feet when you can’t see where you’ll land.
Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” When God is leading you to have faith, that means you’re going to have to move forward even when you can’t see where you’re going. He promised to be a lamp to your feet, not a headlight. So follow His lead, and trust that His path will always be the best one to follow, regardless of how well you can see it.