Blog — Kristen Alexis Cave

Yesterday, I turned 26.

Wow - writing that down makes it feel very real. Although, the lady at Chick-fil-A yesterday told me I look like I’m still in high school…so I guess that means I’m aging well? Either way, I’m now closer to 30 than 20. What a terrifying and exciting reality all rolled into one!

I’ve learned a lot in my twenties so far. In fact, I’ve learned a lot in life so far. So with that in mind, I thought I would follow Taylor Swift’s lead and make a list of 26 things I learned before turning 26. Here we go.

To The Girl Who Feels Like God Let Her Down

I don’t like talking about my mistakes or my doubts or my insecurities. When I do talk about those things though, I want everything to have a nice red bow tied around it. I want to prove to everyone (including myself) that everything works out eventually and that it’s all going to be okay. I like talking about how I’ve overcome the mistakes, the doubts, and the insecurities, but that means I’m only talking about them after the fact. I never talk about my mess in the middle of the mess.

So I’m about to change that.

3 New Year's Resolutions Worth Keeping

I will say though, there are some resolutions worth keeping, worth sticking to through all the craziness of life. I can think of three in particular that have had an incredibly positive impact on me since I’ve started doing each of them. A couple of them are resolutions from years past, and one of them is actually one of my resolutions for this year. Regardless, I think they’re all worth sharing if you’re wanting to make 2019 a better year, especially when it comes to your faith. I’m a firm believer that your walk with God is the one aspect of your life that can make every other area of your life better. Or as my pastor likes to say it, “Following Jesus makes your life better, and it makes you better at life.” So if you’re sitting here at the beginning of the year, wanting your life to be better than it was last year, here are three new year’s resolutions you should not only make, but that you should keep, too.

Looking Back On 2018: Seeing The Purpose In Your Pain

As the end of the year approaches, many of us are starting to map out our goals, dreams, and expectations for 2019. Knowing January is just around the corner instills so much hope and excitement for what’s to come. But before all of the planning and prepping begins, I like to take some time and meditate on everything that’s happened over the past 12 months. December has become a month of reflection for me. And this year, more so than years past, there’s a lot to think about.

I started this year by hearing “no” about a job I had interviewed for as I attempted to pursue a career change. Another “no” came in March, and then another in April, and another in June. In February, my little sister experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm, leaving us all wondering if she was going to make it. Then a few weeks later, I was the maid of honor in a friend’s wedding, and while that was so fun, I once again wrestled with the doubting voice in my head that kept saying, “Is it ever going to be my turn?”

What Kind Of Legacy Do You Want To Leave?

I refuse to believe that I was put on this earth to just focus on myself and what I want to do and where I want to go and what I want to obtain. Jesus didn’t live that way. Mrs. Layne didn’t live that way. And I don’t want to live that way either.

Jesus’ entire life on earth was dedicated to ministering to other people and preparing the way for them to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father. He didn’t spend His time being selfish or self-focused, but rather He spent his days looking for ways to care for the people around Him. And if we are going to call ourselves followers of Christ, shouldn’t we have the same mentality about our own lives?

What I Learned In The Holy Land

The reason why I was wearing modern day Jesus sandals in the middle of the New York airport wasn’t because I was experimenting with my fashion sense. It was because where I was headed, the walks would be long, the weather would be hot, and the terrain would be dusty. And in true Kristen fashion, I wanted to be prepared. But what I didn’t know is that I never could have prepared myself enough to see and experience the places where those shoes would accompany me to.

For ten days, I had the opportunity to tour all throughout The Holy Land. I went to Jericho and Bethany and Capernaum and Galilee and Bethlehem and Jerusalem. I traveled all over the area, seeing with my own eyes places I’d been reading about and hearing about since I was a little girl. I got to see where Jesus lived and slept and walked and healed and preached and died. My faith came alive more in those ten days than it ever had, because these places weren’t just settings of stories to me anymore. They were real.

To The Girl Who Doesn't Like What She Sees In The Mirror

A couple months ago, a friend of mine was getting ready for an upcoming beach trip. We were talking about what she was going to pack and the different outfits she wanted to bring. After several pieces of clothing had been thrown into the reject pile on her bedroom floor, I could tell she was starting to get frustrated. I had a feeling I knew what was wrong, so I was careful when I asked her if she was okay. She let out a big puff of air before she responded, and then she said this:

“It’s just annoying because I’m not a size 2 like all of my friends who are going on this trip, and I don’t feel good in anything, and I wish I was skinnier.”

Character Lasts, Good Looks Don't

Have you ever been sitting in a Starbucks when a guy walks in and you think, “Dang I want my husband to look like that”? Or maybe you were scrolling through Instagram and saw a guy who was your type down to the green specks in his eyes and the type of shoes he was wearing. You start making mental notes or you add to your “list” more and more physical attributes you’d like for your husband to have. Brown/blonde hair, blue eyes, a pretty smile, at least 6’2, and an athletic build were just a few that showed up on my list the first time I wrote it out. (Don’t judge me.)

It’s funny for me to look back on that version of my list now and see how detailed I was about what I wanted my husband to look like. I wrote down things about his height, his hair color, whether or not he had tattoos, even the way he dressed. But over the past few years, my list has had several updated drafts. And in all the ways my list has changed, it’s shifted the most in regards to my standards on appearance. Because if I’ve learned anything about dating and relationships, it’s that there’s more to a person than how they look.

Bloom Where You're Planted - A Guide To Creating Your Seasonal Bucket List

The whole point in making this list is to take advantage of where you are at this point in your life, instead of waiting around and thinking your life won’t start until you get to the next season.

Thinking about your life through this lens is an absolute game changer. Everyone and everything around us tries so hard to convince us that life is better once you get to the next stage or the next event or the next milestone. Being content where you are isn’t exactly the most marketable lifestyle in our culture. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be content, or even excited about where we are.

How To Keep Going When The Doors Keep Closing

Have you ever been in a season where nothing seems to go your way? You get excited for this opportunity or that possibility, but then things don’t work out how you wanted them to. One door closes, and then another, and then another. You keep trying to make something happen, but with no luck. And eventually you get to the point where you’re afraid to walk up to another door because you don’t want to be disappointed if it closes too.

I get it. Shattered dreams, unfulfilled expectations, failures, they’re all disheartening. And when they come in multitudes, it’s that much more difficult to keep going. I don’t know about you, but I can only get knocked down so many times before I’m ready to just sit on the ground for a little while.

Is Your Comfort Zone Really That Comfortable?

I feel like a lot of times, being comfortable goes hand-in-hand with being stagnant. We get settled into where we are, and we don’t want to move because we don’t like change. We get stuck in a rut, living day-to-day without a bigger picture in mind. We stop dreaming. We stop chasing the things we really want because we’re scared they will be difficult or frustrating or disappointing…or dare I say uncomfortable.

But let me ask you something. If God is calling you to do something big, would you say “no thanks” because you didn’t want to lose your comfort and stability? A lot of us would like to say we wouldn’t, but in reality, a lot of us have avoided (or are currently avoiding) God’s call on our lives for fear of the unknown.

To The Girl Who Feels Like She's Stuck On The Sidelines Watching Someone Else Win

“Why does she always get everything she wants? Why do things always seem to go her way? Why does she always win? Can’t it be my turn? Why do I have to keep waiting?”

I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had thoughts like this. We all know that girl who seems to just coast through life, getting everything she ever wanted, whenever she wants it. She gets the dream job, then she scores a promotion. She drives a new car, lives in the super nice apartment, dates the perfect guy, goes on the extravagant vacations…the list keeps going.

3 Questions To Help You Shift Your Focus From Discouragement To Joy

Have you ever had a season in your life when you feel like God is repeating Himself to you? Like no matter where you go or what you’re doing, you keep hearing the same message or the same passage of Scripture over and over again?

I know you can't see me while you’re reading this, but I’m currently nodding my head so hard; because that’s exactly the way I feel like it’s been in my own life for the past couple of months.

How God Used Hiking Up A Mountain To Teach Me About Walking With Him

As I was walking through the woods on Monday, I thought back on one of the other times I had gone hiking. Just like this instance, it was a requirement. I didn’t choose to go. It was part of a project for my Physical Geography class during my freshman year of college. And even though I didn’t particularly enjoy the experience, God taught me a few really cool lessons that day through that hike. I went back through my journal and found an entry I wrote right after that hike, and I wanted to share it with you.

Why Does It Feel Like God Is Keeping Me From Something Good?

How many times have you wanted something, and wanted it NOW? You just couldn’t understand what was taking God so long? Why did he seem to be taking His sweet time preparing the thing you were asking for? If you’ve ever had any of those thoughts, I want you to know you’re not alone. I would need way more than two hands to count the number of times I’ve asked these questions myself.

There Is Beauty In Your Uniqueness

Does anyone else find it hard to believe that we are almost a third of the way through 2018? Time just seems to be flying. Summer is just around the corner and I can’t wait. That may be due to the fact that here in Georgia we aren’t really experiencing spring, but more of a never-ending peek-a-boo winter that makes it impossible to pick out an outfit in the morning. (If you live in the south, you know exactly what I’m talking about.) But I digress.

As I think back over the first third of the year and its highs and lows, one of the things that comes to mind was my New Year’s Resolution. And by that I mean, I can’t even remember what it was. (#NewYearSameMe) Meanwhile, as I was trying to ignore my lack of ability to stick with my New Year’s goals, one of my friends and her resolution last year came to mind, and I really wanted to share it with you.

7 Necessities For Your Twenties

A few weeks back I celebrated my birthday, or as my little brother reminded me, took one step closer to turning 30. You gotta love him. Somewhere in between spending time with family and friends and eating my favorite birthday dessert (Tiramisu from Olive Garden – try it…you won’t regret it), I took some time to get a little nostalgic.

In The Midst Of Your Waiting, He Is Working

January 2nd. It’s the day when your alarm clock rings a little louder and more obnoxiously than usual. The day when a single cup of coffee just won’t cut it. The day that makes you wish you were still in college and had another week to sleep in and eat an undisclosed number of calories.

Nevertheless, I woke up on that dreaded second day of the year and prepared to face the day. (Translated: By some miracle of God, I rolled out of bed and managed to pour myself enough coffee to shock me back to life.)

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover, Or A Person By Her Cover Photo

Picture this. It was the beginning of my final semester of college. I had landed an internship at a large non-profit in Atlanta, and because the other intern on my team had left, I had landed my own office. That’s right. A 10x10 room with my own desk and a wonderful view of the parking lot. I know it might not sound that glamorous to you, but it was a very big deal to me. In my mind, I had arrived.

When Did Our Phones Become More Important Than Our Friends?

A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in traffic on my way from homework (yay for living in Atlanta). I was just minding my own business, enjoying my jam session to Taylor Swift, when I looked to my right and noticed something.

There was a couple, seemingly married, sitting at a table outside a local restaurant. The weather was great, making it perfect for an evening out. Their dog was chilling out underneath the table as they casually sipped on some sweet tea. It looked like the picture perfect date night. Except for one thing...