7 Necessities For Your Twenties
A few weeks back I celebrated my birthday, or as my little brother reminded me, took one step closer to turning 30. You gotta love him. Somewhere in between spending time with family and friends and eating my favorite birthday dessert (Tiramisu from Olive Garden – try it…you won’t regret it), I took some time to get a little nostalgic.
I looked back on the years in my twenties I’d already lived through, and I thought about what I wish I’d known going into this decade. Then, of course, I made a list of everything I could think of. (Are lists anyone else’s love language? Because they’re definitely one of mine.) After running this list by some of my friends, we came up with seven things you absolutely need in your twenties.
#1 - Community
I put this at #1 for a reason. Whenever we were in high school, or even college, making friends and maintaining those friendships was so much easier than it is after graduation. That was largely due to the fact that our schedules naturally intertwined with our friends. We had classes with them. We went to football games together. We lived down the street from each other. We even worked with some of them. Investing time in our friendships just came easy.
Unfortunately, once you get into your twenties, maintaining those friendships becomes a little more difficult. You work different jobs. You live in different parts of town, or maybe even different states. You fill your schedules with different activities. So you really have to be intentional to carve out time to spend with your friends. Because let’s face it - God has used so many of my friends to help me learn, grow, and mature in my walk with Him. And I want that to be the case for you too!
So, whether it’s scheduling a coffee date with a friend on a free night, or calling her on your way home from work, make a point this week to be intentional with your friendships. I promise it will be an investment you will NEVER regret.
#2 - Rest
I’m not going to lie when I say that I really struggle with this one. Rest is something that is so valuable in our everyday lives, but can be so undervalued by our culture. Whenever I have free time in my calendar, it doesn’t come naturally for me to think, “Take that time to rest, Kristen.” Instead, I start thinking about all of the things I could fill that time slot with - meeting friends, seeing my family, running errands, cleaning my room (even though that usually doesn’t happen as often as I’d like).
I’ve really had to make a conscious effort to give myself time to rest. And not just take the time to rest, but to rest and not feel guilty for it. Think of it like this: We all have our own personal fuel tank, just like a car. As long as there is fuel in that tank, we can keep going. But once the tank gets low on fuel, or even empties completely, it’s difficult if not impossible to keep going at the pace we like to keep. Plus we can’t give to the people in our lives the way we would probably like to if our tanks are empty. We are much more valuable when we are filled and rested, rather than tired and depleted.
All of that to say, please, take some time to rest this week. Even if you’re like me and you have to block out an hour in your planner that just says “CHILL”, do it. It’ll be exactly what you need to fill your tank and keep trucking along.
#3 - Mentors
I can’t stress enough the importance of having mentors in your twenties. In fact, I think having mentors is valuable at any age or stage of life. I truly believe you can never surround yourself with too many wise people. Over the past couple of years, I’ve made a point to meet with women who love the Lord, have strong marriages, and lead a life that is worth emulating.
I currently have three mentors that I meet with pretty regularly. They are all extremely wise, godly women who are at least 20 years older than me. They’ve lived through every season I’m experiencing, and are always available to listen and ask excellent questions.
So, if you don’t have a mentor, I would strongly suggest finding one. You may already have someone in mind you’d like to ask, like a small group leader, coworker, or family friend. If you’re not sure you know a possible mentor, talk to someone at your church, and they may be able to help you connect with someone.
#4 - Unplugging/Self-Care
This kind of goes along with #2, but I wanted to differentiate a little bit because I think both resting and unplugging for self-care are great habits to form. I am extremely guilty of being too attached to my phone. I feel like it’s constantly in my hand, which is a habit I’m trying to break. But it’s so tough, because unfortunately, FOMO is a real thing. However, taking the time to unplug from the rest of the world and practice self-care is another great thing you can do to fill your tank.
Now, don’t think self-care is limited to unplugging your phone and giving yourself a facial (although that’s not a bad idea either). Self-care can be anything that fills you up, anything that puts the pep back in your step. Maybe it’s getting your nails done, or sitting by the pool and reading a book. Maybe it’s going hiking or taking a yoga class. Maybe it’s walk down every aisle at Target...twice. Whatever it is, it should become a priority for you to carve out time to do these things. Like I said earlier, we can only keep going when we have fuel in our tank. Don’t let your tank get empty because you’re neglecting self-care.
#5 - A Way To Give Back
Once you finish school, you realize that outside of work there are a lot of different ways you can fill your time. Getting together with friends, going shopping, working out, taking naps, the list goes on and on. One thing I’ve added to that list is giving back.
I don’t ever want to live a life that is only beneficial to me. I want to help people, impacting them in a positive way whenever I can. So I make a point to give back some of my time to do that.
There are so many different directions you can take this. You could volunteer at a local non-profit. You could lead a small group at your church. You could go on mission trips. The possibilities are endless. And the best part is that while you’re busy trying making an impact, the experience will really be impacting you.
#6 - Budget/Financial Plan/Savings Account
If you have any of these three things going for you right now, good for you! If you have all three, please teach me your ways. I’m still a work in progress. In the words of the infamous Dave Ramsey, the best thing you can do when it comes to your finances is “Tell your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” On several occasions, the back half of that statement has been all too true in my life. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Being aware and informed of your financial situation is a great way to be, especially in your 20s when you’re just getting started with your career (and a stable income). It’s common to live paycheck to paycheck, but then again you’re also trying to pay off your credit card and your student loans. I get it. Life ain’t cheap. But the earlier you start practicing smart financial habits, the better off you’ll be in the long run.
Now, you don’t have to change everything about your finances all at once. You can take it slow at first. Start off by writing down your financial goals (i.e. pay off your car, save $5,000 by the end of the year, etc.) and then figure out what small steps you can start taking to make those happen, like automatically moving 10% of your paycheck to your savings account each month. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but gradually you can start to see a big difference if you make small adjustments.
#7 - Journal
It’s no secret that writing and journaling have always been a hobby of mine. I’ve just always enjoyed keeping a record of what’s going on in my life. Occasionally I’ll even go back and read through my journals, and I’m reminded of the lessons I’ve learned and the ways God has worked in my life.
If you’re unlike me and you’re not the biggest fan of writing, I can understand that. But I would still encourage you to find a way to record what’s going on in your life right now. You could take voice recordings on your phone of you talking about different events that have happened, or you could make your own monthly vlog (no one has to see it but you) where you talk about the events and observations you have from that month. You can get creative with this.
Regardless of how you do it, I think you’ll be so happy you did and that you’ll be grateful to have the chance one day to look back on everything you dreamt up, cried about, conquered, and celebrated in your 20s. This is a big decade. So do what you can to make sure you don’t forget most of it.