When Self-Imposed Timelines Seem Overwhelming
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:21
A couple of years ago, I remember having a conversation with my roommate Lauren. We were talking about our birthdays coming up in the next few months when we would both be turning 27. Between Lauren having found a handful of gray hairs on her head and my realization that anti-wrinkle eye cream was now a necessary part of my skincare routine, you could say we were both a little less than enthused about creeping up on the big 3-0.
As we were talking about approaching the next decade of our lives, I said, "Lauren, if I'm being really honest, if I'm not married by the time I'm 30, I don't think I'm going to handle it too well. I just never thought I would get to 30 and still be single.”
We both let that phrase hang in the air for a minute, but then something hit me. "Actually," I said, "I never thought I would get to 26 and still be single either, and I love how my life has turned out."
That moment will forever be etched in my mind. For so long I couldn't imagine getting to the point where I had lived through three decades and had still not said: "I do." But from that day on after I had that conversation with Lauren, my entire outlook changed.
Even now as I think back, very little about my life in the last decade has turned out like I thought it would, and yet I've had an amazing life so far. I've seen God do an amazing work in me as He's guided me to unexpected opportunities, exciting experiences, and life-giving relationships.
Far too often we assign timelines to our lives, telling ourselves that if we don’t graduate on time, if we aren’t married by a certain age, if we don’t have kids by a certain point, or if we don’t accomplish our ten-year plan, then somehow we’ve failed. But let’s not forget that when God dreamt up His plan for our lives, He wasn’t worried about time.
Even though our culture likes to put timelines and deadlines on everything, that doesn’t mean that’s the way God works too. In fact, I can tell you from personal experience that the majority of events and experiences that have happened in my life so far have taken place at a different time than most people would expect. That doesn’t mean I’m a failure. It doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong. It just means that God’s plan and my timeline don’t always match.
Fast forward to April 8, 2022. I was turning 29 exactly three weeks before my wedding. I thought back to that conversation with Lauren, and I chuckled, thinking, “Well Lord, you really cut it close to the 30-year mark.” I pictured God smiling at me and shaking His head in response, and I’m sure He picked up on the humor and sarcasm in my voice. I am also 100% confident that He knew in that moment that I couldn't care less how old I was going to be at my wedding.
Did I think I’d be 29 on my wedding day? Absolutely not. But did I think about my age at all while I was getting ready with my bridesmaids, putting on my dress, taking pictures, saying my vows, or walking through the sparklers at the end of the night? Not once.
All I was thinking about was how happy I was to be marrying Kevin. I thought about how grateful I was for how God answered my prayers for a godly, cute, tall, funny, basketball-loving husband. I thought about how I couldn’t wait to start our lives together. But I definitely did not think about my timeline.
To be brutally honest, I’m starting to believe that timelines are overrated, at least the ones we come up with. Because even if we spend a ton of time and brain power making a timeline, or put a ton of pressure on ourselves to abide by the timeline, it’s ultimately the Lord’s plan that will prevail. So whether or not our life aligns with our timeline or not, we're going to be okay. Either way, God can and will still do an incredible work in us as He guides us towards the next chapter in our lives, whatever that chapter may entail.