Why You Should Knock Before Entering Someone’s Life

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” – Revelation 3:20

Recently, I was flipping back through one of my old journals (I like to do this from time to time), and I landed on an entry from December 2, 2021. The last paragraph on the page was a quote by Chip Judd, a professional Christian counselor who created an audio course on relationships that I dove into at the time.

He was talking about Revelation 3:20, which says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Regarding that verse, he shared the quote that ended up in my journal.

The quote said this, “Isn’t it amazing that the God of the universe knocks before entering? So who are we to just bust into people’s lives and give advice without knocking first?

I had never really thought about this concept before, but it really got me thinking once I heard Chip make this statement. There’s no doubt we live in a culture where people like to share their opinions and advice at the drop of a hat. But I think we’re missing the point if we think our only job is to give advice whenever we think we should and then move on with our lives.

I love the part of Chip’s quote where he says, “who are we to just bust into people’s lives…” I think this paints a great picture of what our location in someone’s life should look like if we’re going to give advice.

Usually, the people I really want advice from are people I’ve already invited into my life. They have an up-close and personal view of my life, my circumstances, my struggles, and my day-to-day rhythms, so they have context when it comes time for them to give advice. They don’t have to bust in because they chose to knock a long time ago, and I chose to open the door.

But when someone offers me advice who hasn’t been invited in, who’s not in my inner circle, and who has little to no context about my life, it feels like they’re busting down the door, refusing to take the time to knock.

This is why, as believers, it’s so important that we follow Jesus’ example when it comes to entering into a relationship with someone, especially the kind of relationship where advice will be given and taken.

One of my favorite things about Jesus is that He’s so humble, and He’s the one person who’s walked on this earth who doesn’t have a reason to be humble. He’s perfect. He lived a perfect life. He did everything right. And yet, He’s always been overflowing with humility. This humility is made apparent in today’s key verse, Revelation 3:20, when instead of busting down the doors of our hearts, demanding that we listen to Him because He’s perfect and all knowing, He chooses to knock. He is patient. He is gracious. And He stands there and knocks, waiting for us to invite Him in.

And what’s more, Jesus isn’t just knocking so He can come in a tell us what to do. He knocks because He wants to have a relationship with us. He wants to show us how much He loves us. And He wants to care for us and sit with us in every season and situation we face in this life.

I think it would go a long way if we, as human beings, exercised this kind of humility…if instead of busting into people’s lives eager to immediately share our advice and our opinions, we chose to knock with the intention of wanting to show love and care for others.

I truly believe if we were diligent in trying to model ourselves after Jesus, humbling ourselves and being patient and gracious with others, we would make a much greater impact in the lives of those around us than we would if we just walked around throwing advice at people we don’t even have a close relationship with.

So the next time you find yourself wanting to give someone advice, I’d encourage you to ask yourself these questions:

-       Do I have a good relationship with this person?

-       Do I have context about what’s going on in their life and what’s important and valuable to them?

-       Do I want to give them advice because I truly want to help them? Or do I want to give them advice because I want to sound smart and get credit for giving good advice?

-       Am I interested in walking with this person through their current season? Or am I just wanting to give my advice and move on?

I think it’s important that you take the time to consider your answers to these questions. And if you realize your motives aren’t where they should be, maybe hold off on offering the advice.  

If you really want to help this person, ask the Lord to give you humility, patience, and grace to pursue a stronger relationship with them in hopes that they will invite you in and you will become someone they seek advice from down the road. Remember, the God of the universe knocks before entering. I believe we would be wise to do the same.