Change Me, Lord

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. - Psalm 51:10

Earlier this year, I read a book called, “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian*, and it quickly became one of the most practical and helpful books I’ve ever read. There are 31 chapters in this book, each covering a different area of your husband’s life that you can pray for. There’s a chapter about his work, his temptations, his emotions, his past, his fatherhood, his purpose, his faith, etc. And each chapter contains an actual prayer you can pray over your husband. Like I said, I highly recommend this book.

But the thing about this book that hit me the hardest was Chapter 1, which is all about praying for your husband’s wife.

At first, I was a little confused, because I thought this was a book where I would just be praying for Kevin and all the different aspects of his life and his walk with Jesus. So to start by praying for myself felt a little weird. But as I kept reading, I started to understand why Stormie began the book this way.

She began the first chapter by talking about her favorite three-word prayer, “Change him, Lord.” She found herself praying this often over her husband, particularly when he was acting a certain way or speaking a certain way that she did not like.

But the more she tried to pray this prayer, she felt convicted. She said she knew deep down in her heart that while she had a favorite three-word prayer, the Lord had a different favorite three-word prayer, which was “Change me, Lord.”

For the rest of the chapter, Stormie challenges and encourages her readers to have a humble and pliable heart as they pray. She talks about how important it is not just to pray that your husband will change, but that the Lord would change anything in your heart that needs to be changed and sanctified.

I felt so convicted as I read Chapter 1. We’d only been married for a year when I started to read this book, and I couldn’t tell you how many times I had prayed some variation of “Change him, Lord,” while very few times, if any, had I prayed, “Change me, Lord.”

This was such an important lesson for me to learn because I often forget that the only person I have control over is me. By the power of the Holy Spirit, I can change the way I think. I can change the way I act. I can change the way I feel. I can change the way I speak. And I can change the way I react. But I can’t change those things for anyone else. Only God can do that. And only God knows exactly what needs to be changed in each of our hearts. Therefore, why is it that I spend so much time worrying about how other people need to change instead of focusing on what the Lord might want to change within me?

It’s a question with an obvious answer, but a difficult execution. Nevertheless, we can do hard things with the help of the Holy Spirit within us. Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it’s not worth working through.

So I want to challenge you with the same challenge Stormie gives in chapter 1. Whether it’s your significant other, your friend, your family member, or your coworker that you’d like to see change, I encourage you to pray this simple prayer, “Change me, Lord.” Ask God to do a work in your heart however He sees fit. Ask Him to reveal to you anything in your heart or mind that does not honor Him or that is keeping you from living like Christ. And ask Him to help you focus on your own process of sanctification rather than someone else’s.

The Lord loves that person and knows what they need. And He loves you and knows what you need. So let’s leave the changing up to Him, and as we do, let’s have humble hearts to submit to whatever sanctifying work He wants to do within us.

*If you’re married, I could not recommend Stormie’s book more. It’s a repeat read for the entirety of your marriage. If you’re not married, this would be a great guide to help you pray for your future husband. Or she also has a book called, “The Power of a Praying Woman.” They’re all available on Amazon so be sure to check them out!