Habits To Cultivate In Your Single Season

Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed. – Luke 22:39-41

Not long after I got engaged, I remember people frequently saying things like, “Your life is about to change,” or “Things will never be the same once you get married,” or even “Marriage is a whole new way of life.”

Looking back, I understand the message they were trying to convey. There were definitely aspects of my life that changed once my husband and I got married.

For starters, we lived together for the first time, which was a very new experience for both of us. We had to learn how to manage our finances together. We had to figure out how to align our schedules and manage our calendars cohesively. We had to adjust to sharing a bed for the first time. There were quite a few things about life that changed quickly and drastically after we got married.

However, I don’t know if those people who talked to me about the changes that came with marriage were 100% correct. While it’s true that my life changed a lot when I got married, not everything about my life changed. There were quite a few things that stayed the same, like the habits I had created in my singleness (for better or worse).

My habit of scrolling through my phone before bed didn’t stop. I just have to put Airpods in now because Kevin falls asleep approximately two minutes after his head hits the pillow. My habit of leaving laundry in the dryer for days didn’t stop, even now that I was doing laundry for two. So Kevin took over laundry responsibilities pretty quickly after we got married to help fix that problem. And my habit of reading my Bible and journaling after breakfast each morning didn’t change either. Kevin would be at work. I would preoccupy our puppy with a chew toy, and I’d have my quiet time.

My point? Habits are hard to break, even when your life season changes. This is why I believe it’s so important to incorporate the right habits now, while you’re single, so that you can continue to implement them even after you’re in a relationship.

Your entire life doesn’t change just because your relationship status does. And it’s very likely the habits you are creating now are going to stick with you once you’re dating, engaged, and married.

When you read about the life of Jesus in Scripture, you will see that Jesus had one habit that He was committed to no matter what was going on in His life: He retreated to pray. From the times His ministry was going well and He was helping and healing a lot of people, to when He was moments from going to the cross in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus made it a habit to spend quality alone time with His Heavenly Father.

What a beautiful example He sets for us by practicing this habit. And it’s this example I want to challenge you with today. I want you to think about some habits, specifically when it comes to your relationship with Jesus, that you can work on incorporating or strengthening right now while you’re single so that you’re prepared to carry on with these habits whenever your relationship status changes. Here are a few examples to get you thinking:

Set aside time each day to read and study your Bible.

Go on a daily prayer walk.

Listen to sermons or Christian podcasts during your commute. 

Put on some worship music while you’re making dinner.

Keep a prayer journal or a gratitude journal.

Volunteer with a team at your church.

Join a small group or a Bible study.

I can’t tell you how glad I am that I incorporated many habits like these into my daily life when I was single, because it made it so much easier to make these habits a priority once I started dating my husband and then moved through engagement into marriage.

Relationships are demanding. They require a lot of time and effort. But when we create good habits and practice them consistently, we have such a better chance of bringing those habits with us when we step into a new relationship.

So friend, wherever you are with your faith habits, I pray you’ll take just one step today to incorporate a new habit you want to develop or practice an existing habit more consistently. Not only will you be setting yourself up well for the future, but you’ll be opening up your mind and heart to your Heavenly Father to do an incredible work within you to make you more like His Son.