Keep Praying Anyway

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. - Philippians 4:6

I need to be honest with you about something…Prayer has been really tough for me recently.

In a way, I feel ashamed to admit that because I feel like if I’m going to struggle with something, prayer shouldn’t be that thing. You’d think talking to God would always be one of the easiest things about being a Christian. And while a lot of times that’s true, there are times when it’s super difficult to pray.

In my instance, there’s a specific prayer I’ve been praying for over a decade now. There’s a constant aching inside my soul as I wait for this prayer to be answered, for this desire to finally be met. But it just seems like day after day, year after year, nothing changes. No matter how many times I ask, the answer is still, “Not yet.”

So as I sit in the midst of my unmet desires and expectations, I start to doubt. I start to wonder if God is listening. Does He hear me? Does He care? Does He not realize how hard it is to keep waiting? And if He’s not answering this prayer, who’s to say He’s going to answer any of my other prayers?

These are all questions I have been wrestling with a lot recently. And the most frustrating part about it all is that even though I know the answers to those questions in my head, my heart is having a really hard time believing them when the right answers don’t feel true.

I was sharing all of this with my best friend Melanie a couple of weeks ago. I told her that if I was being brutally honest, prayer seemed pretty pointless to me right now. So in her compassionate, loving, best-friend-like way, she gave me a challenge to help me remember that there’s power in prayer. It’s purposeful. It’s meaningful. And it’s impactful, even in the midst of all my doubt.

After we got off the phone, Melanie texted me a picture. It was the first picture we ever took together. She was wearing fruit loop pajama pants and I was wearing a “honk if you love Jesus” t-shirt. We were both making duck faces and peace signs, thinking we couldn’t possibly be any cooler. In our 15 years of friendship, it’s still my favorite picture of us.

Along with this picture, Melanie sent me a message, telling me that she wanted me to take some time over the next couple of weeks and write down every prayer God has answered since we took that picture. She said she would do the same, and then we would compare notes when she came home for Christmas.

That’s 15 years of prayers. 15 years. That’s over half my lifetime. And without even thinking too hard, I can rattle off a list of prayers the Lord has answered during that time with ease.

Until Melanie gave me this challenge, I had no idea how badly I needed that reminder. I didn’t realize how desperately I needed to remember all the ways God has come through in the last decade and a half. Sometimes He came through the way I asked Him to. Most of the time He came through in different and unexpected ways. But regardless of the methods or the means, He always came through. Every. Single. Time.

So in the midst of all my doubts, when I’m questioning if God is listening to me or if He’s ever going to answer that ache-filled prayer I’ve been asking Him about for ten years, I’m learning the importance of remembering. Remembering that He is faithful. He is loving. And He is good.

Friend, I hope you will take the time today to remember, too. I hope you will carve out a few minutes to make a list of all the prayers God has answered for you, whether you look at the past 15 years or the past 15 months. And as you remember, may your recollections fuel your prayers as you are reminded of all the ways God has come through for you in the past, so that your faith, your belief, and your trust in the Lord may be reignited once again.