Don't Skip The Grieving
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” - Psalm 147:3
Getting your heart broken can feel like you got the wind knocked out of you, like a sudden blow you didn’t see coming that instantly makes you unable to catch your breath. It’s disorienting and confusing to say the least. You start asking yourself questions like, “How did this happen?”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, and my very favorite, “What am I going to do now?” You question your worth. You question your identity, and you question your future, realizing your life just changed in a matter of minutes, and you never saw it coming.
Maybe one day you walked into work with your coffee and computer bag, but then you walked out that afternoon with a box of your belongings and a severance check. Maybe the college you’ve always dreamed of attending sent you a letter that started with the words, “Thank you for your application, but unfortunately…” Or maybe you thought you’d finally met the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with, and then one day they decided the relationship needed to end.
Regardless of how it happens, heartbreak is just flat out brutal. There’s no other way to slice it. But just because it’s painful doesn’t mean it’s not purposeful. There’s a lot that can be learned from going through heartbreak, and one of the most important lessons we can learn in this tough season is that we shouldn’t rush the grieving process.
When tough times hit, it’s common to hear people say things like, “Just pull up your bootstraps and keep going,” or “Just let it go…you’re going to be fine.” And while I do think there is a time and a place for statements like that, I don’t think it’s wise to skip over the mourning and grieving stages of heartbreak. Suppressing your emotions for the sake of saying “I’m fine” isn’t healthy or helpful.
Think about it this way. Imagine you are chopping up vegetables for dinner and instead of slicing through the zucchini, you accidentally slice through your finger instead, so much so that it looks like you’re going to need stitches for the wound to heal properly. But instead of going to the doctor to have the wound sterilized and stitched up, you slap a band-aid on that bad boy and keep moving. Before long, the wound is going to get infected and become even more painful than it needed to be.
The healing process for your heart works the same way. It’s a process that takes time because it has certain steps that need to be followed for the healing to be complete and thorough. Grieving is one of those steps, one that shouldn’t be forgotten. It’s important to acknowledge the pain you’re feeling, and then once you’ve processed and worked through that pain, you can keep going.
Trust me friend, the Lord will help you through this pain. In fact, He wants nothing more than to help you through it because He loves you. He cares for you. He wants what’s best for you. And He’ll be with you every step of the way, even through the grieving.