To The Girl Feeling Tempted To Settle

Waiting sucks.

But I don’t have to tell you that. I feel like that statement is just a universal truth. We don’t like waiting for anything, especially when it’s something we really, really want. We would just prefer for God to move at the same speed as a fast food drive-thru. Better yet, if He could go as fast as the Jimmy John’s delivery guys, that would be ideal.

I don’t know about you, but in my experience God doesn’t always work as fast as I would like Him to. He works more like a crockpot than a microwave. And when it seems like He’s moving at a snail’s pace, I start to wonder if the wait is even worth it. I begin thinking that I'd be fine getting a lesser version of what I want if it means I can have it now. Settling always seems like a great idea in the thick of a long waiting season. But let me tell you something: settling is never a good idea, no matter how much your impatience tells you it is.

To prove it to you, I want to tell you a story.

Right around the time I turned 14-years-old, I began a very diligent search for a car. I was only one year away from getting my learner’s permit, so I figured it was time to start thinking about my own set of wheels. Every single night after I finished my homework, I would get on my parents desktop Dell computer, and I would look for something cool that was also in my price range. (I realize that’s kind of an oxymoron, but I tried.)

The more I scanned through the pictures, the more I began gravitating towards Mustangs. I know, I know — me and every other teenager on the planet, right? But I loved these cars! So I spent hours searching for just the right one in hopes that I could convince my parents this was a good idea. Time after time I would print out a report for a Mustang that was in my price range, thinking this would be the one. But as soon as I would give the report to my parents, they would say things like:

“Kristen, this car has 180,000 miles on it.”

“You’re only going to get 13 miles per gallon.”

“Do you realize how much the insurance will cost for a 16-year-old with a sports car?”

“This one is 10 years old, so it's going to need a lot of repairs.”

At the age of 14, I didn’t understand why any of this was make or break. All I knew was that I found a Mustang that was under my price point. Thankfully, my parents had enough wisdom and common sense to anticipate all of the issues and extra costs I would face if I settled for a less than ideal car just because it looked cool and had a horse on the front of it.

Once I realized my parents weren’t going to give in, I let go of my obsession with Mustangs and began looking for a better option. I ended up buying a 2005 off-white PT Cruiser. Yes you heard me…a PT Cruiser, also known as the car that every 80-year-old American citizen drives. Sure it wasn’t a Mustang, but it got me through the rest of high school and all of college with very few hiccups.

Fast forward to the year after I graduated from college. I sold my PT Cruiser to my younger brother and bought a 2012 Hyundai Elantra. Again, it wasn’t a Mustang, but it had bluetooth capabilities, is got great gas mileage, and it didn’t shake when I drove it over 60 mph on the highway. Life was looking up from the PT Cruiser days. And my parents had finally managed to pass down some of the wisdom and common sense they were trying to give me years earlier.

I drove the Hyundai for two and a half years. But every time I drove past a Mustang for sale, I would still think about how cool it would be to have one. My desire for the car hadn’t disappeared, but the responsible side of me (or as my brother likes to call it, the lame side) knew it was probably a good idea to stick with the Hyundai for now.

One particular afternoon, I was talking to my mom about a Mustang I had seen for sale earlier that day, but immediately began to justify why it wasn’t a good idea to buy one. When I was done, she looked at me and said, “Kristen, if you don’t get a Mustang now, you probably never well. You’re 24-years-old. You can afford it. So why don’t you live a little and start looking?"

I learned a very important lesson from that conversation. If one of your parents tells you, a twenty-something, to “live a little”, you should probably take their advice.

So that’s exactly what I did. I started looking online for a Mustang, fully intending to take my time in choosing just the right one. But less than a week later, my mom calls to tell me she knows someone selling their Mustang and that I should come look at it.

Two days later I show up to look at this car, and my jaw was on the floor. The car was barely three years old. It only had 19,000 miles on it. It got the same gas mileage as my Hyundai (yay for eco boost). There were heated and cooled leather seats. The sound system was amazing. And to top it all off, it was under budget!

Not only was this car everything I was looking for. It was so much more.

I ended up buying the car a week later, and I wish you could have seen me driving it home. I was giddier than I ever remember being. My dream car was finally my reality. And what made it even more special was the fact that I’d waited 10 years to get it. Sure, I technically could have bought a Mustang when I turned 16. But what I waited for ended up being so much better than what I could have settled for.

I know this story is just about a car, and waiting for a car is very different than waiting for a job or a relationship or some other monumental part of life. But when we see waiting pay off in the little things, it becomes easier to wait for the bigger things. Now every time I find myself in the midst of waiting, I think about my car. I think about how much more driving my Mustang means to me now because of how long I had to wait for it. And I think about what I would have missed out on if I had settled 10 years ago.

Like I said earlier, settling might seem like a good idea when you’re tired of waiting, but it’s never worth it. Don’t put up with the good just because you don’t want to wait for the great.

Charles Stanley said it best when he said, “Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we’re waiting for.”

Whatever you’re waiting on today, I hope you keep that quote at the forefront of your mind. I hope you take this season of waiting to draw near to you Heavenly Father. I pray you remember there is purpose in your waiting, and that five, ten, or even thirty years from now, you’ll be so glad you didn’t settle.