Believing The Best Of People

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. - Matthew 5:7

Last year during one of the varsity girls’ basketball games I coached, I remember noticing the referees walk in while my team was warming up. Amidst the three guys who were going to be officiating was my favorite referee. Yes, I had favorites. I promise I was still nice to the other referees, but I definitely had refs I preferred, and so when this guy walked into the gym that night, I breathed a sigh of relief knowing we should have good officiating for the game.

Well during the second half, I saw something I hadn’t seen before. My favorite referee started arguing with one of the guys at the scorer’s table, and the argument got a little heated. I wasn’t involved in the argument, so I just kind of sat back as they sorted through the issue. Eventually the argument ended and the game resumed, but I did make a mental note that I thought it was weird because every other time we’d had this referee at a game, he’d been very calm and collected.

After I got home from the game that night, I was talking to my dad (who coached with me) about the altercation at the scorer’s table. He thought it was out of character too that the referee got a little heated. And as we ended the conversation, I said, “Well maybe he just had a rough day.”

But then I started thinking, would that have been my same response if the referee had been in the argument with me? If I had been the one involved in the conflict, would I still have assumed the best of this guy? Or would I have assumed the worst out of annoyance and frustration?

It’s one thing to assume the best of someone when they maybe don’t react in the best way towards someone else. But what about when they react that way to you? What is our response?

My old pastor used to say that when it comes to dealing with people and relationships, “choose trust over suspicion.” In other words, when you could be tempted to be suspicious and assume the worst about someone, instead choose to believe the best and trust the person.

Maybe the referee did have a bad day that day and his frustration carried over into the game that night. Or maybe he had a great day and he just got irritated. Either way, I’ll never know. Therefore, all I could do in that moment was choose to believe the best based on what I knew about this person. I knew he was a good referee. I knew he was normally very calm and level-headed. And I knew his reaction that night was not the norm. So in a moment where I could definitely be suspicious and cast judgment or cop an attitude about his reaction, I could instead choose to extend some grace and move forward.

I mean, isn’t that what Jesus does for us every day? He knew every sin we would ever commit before we were even born. He knows we are going to continue to fall short because we’re human and we’re not perfect. But He loves us anyway. He shows us grace and mercy anyway. And He doesn’t shun us or distance Himself from us just because we made a mistake.

Talk about grace. Talk about mercy. Talk about love.

May that be the same grace, mercy, and love we show to those around us as we choose to believe the best and as we choose trust over suspicion.