The Power Of Your Words

Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit - you choose. - Proverbs 18:21 (MSG)

I want to be honest with you about something. I’m a pretty confident person, but if you ask anyone close to me, they’ll be able to tell you that my #1 insecurity is tied to my size and my figure. Ever since high school, I’ve always been self-conscious about my weight. And to this day, whenever anyone says something to me about my size or my weight, good or bad, you better believe it sticks with me.

For example, there was this one time I went to David’s Bridal to try on a bridesmaid’s dress. The lady at the front desk didn’t seem to be in the best mood. Nevertheless, she asked what I wanted to try on. I showed her a picture of the dress I was looking for, and she grumpily walked us to the back of the store. She told a consultant which dress to pull, and then turned around to face me. She looked me up and down and with her sassy tone said, “She’s probably a 14.”

Now, first of all, I’m pretty sure there is some unspoken rule in the bridal industry that you always guess a size down from what you think the person wears, because girls are already insecure enough about sizing. Clearly, this troubled woman needed to be updated on dress shopping girl code. Secondly, I want to point out that another bridesmaid’s dress I had for an upcoming wedding was a size 10. 

Regardless, I felt embarrassed and frustrated as she sized me up...literally. I hung my head after she strutted off. This lady obviously had no idea how insecure I already was about my size, nor did she realize the effect of what she said and the way she said it

Now let me tell you a different story. It was about 11 p.m. My brother and I were going to see his friends at their high school graduation the next day, and I, for the life of me, couldn’t find anything acceptable to wear. I had tried on close to 20 dresses, but nothing was working. I was almost to the point of tears when my younger brother walked downstairs. And as I stood there, disapproving of everything I saw in the mirror, he said, “Wow, Kristen! You look beautiful!”

It was just five words. But they were five words I needed to hear at that moment to silence every negative thought I was having about the way I looked. I walked into that graduation the next day, wearing that same dress my brother said he liked, feeling like a million bucks. 

While the outcome of these stories was different, the theme is the same: our words have power. As today’s key verse reminds us, they have power to build up and the power to tear down. So it’s our job to use our words wisely as we understand the effect they can have on others.

So next time you go to say something to someone, take a second to think. The words you’re about to say, do they have they potential to kill? Or are they life-giving words? Better yet, think about it this way. Would you want someone to say to you what you’re thinking about saying to them?

My hope is that we think about these questions before we just throw our words around. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather use words that are helpful and encouraging instead of words that are hurtful and discouraging. I don’t ever want my words to make anyone feel the way I felt that day in David’s Bridal. Instead, I want my words to make people feel the way I felt after my brother told me I looked beautiful. So as my dad always says, think before you speak, and don’t underestimate the power of your words.