Ask Another Question

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. - Philippians 2:3-4

I’m a big fan of asking questions. I think they’re a great way to get to know people, but I also think they’re great tools to engage in deep conversation with people you already know. And I love me some deep conversations.

But what I’ve learned over the past few years, it’s that asking one question isn’t enough. Usually, in my experience, it’s the second, third, and fourth questions that really allow you to dive in deep with someone. The follow-up questions are the ones that help you learn more about a person and discover what’s really going on in their mind and heart.

Asking more than just “How are you?” or “What have you been up to lately?” shows that you really care about the person, that you want to hear about what’s going on in their lives, and that you’re truly paying attention to what they’re saying to you.

You might not realize it, but this kind of relational attentiveness and intentionality is something we’re commanded to do in Scripture. This isn’t something we do if we want extra credit or if we’re feeling especially chatty one day. No, we are to always take interest in the lives of others with a posture of humility and service.

Take another look at today’s key verses. Paul writes, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

In other words, we’re to be diligent in shifting the focus off of ourselves and onto those around us. We’re to talk less and listen more. We’re to ask more questions rather than always trying to insert our own opinions and our own stories.

Now, I realize this is no small task. In our flesh, we are all extremely selfish. So the temptation is always going to be to focus on ourselves, highlight ourselves, and talk about ourselves. But that is a temptation we are more than capable of overcoming with the help of the Holy Spirit within us.

You have no idea what your selflessness, your attentiveness, and your question-asking could mean to someone. Maybe the person you’re talking to has been listening to other people all day and they need to be heard for a change. Maybe they’re going through a really tough season and your questions and listening ear gives them the space to process. Or maybe they just need to be reminded that Jesus loves them and cares for them, and your selflessness and attention are used by God to point them back to Christ.

A lot of times, we think God is going to use us most when we’re giving advice, pointing people in a certain direction, or passing on some sort of instruction or guidance. But what I’ve learned recently is that God can use you just as mightily when you simply ask a question, or when you choose to listen and don’t say anything at all.

There is power in knowing when to speak and when to listen. There is strength in giving your attention to others instead of trying to keep the attention on yourself. And there is love in asking follow-up questions. May we be obedient in doing these things for the people God places in our path this week.

My prayer is that this devotion will be a reminder for you to lend a listening ear, to ask another question, and to give the gift of your attentiveness to someone who needs it. And I hope that as you seek to bless others in these ways, God will bless you for your obedience.