When Your Circumstances Change, God Changes You Too
This time last year, my New Year's plans had just fallen through. I was supposed to go to the beach with a few friends, but some last minute changes postponed the trip. Despite the setback, I still wanted to get away for a few days. So I made an impulse decision (which is something I never do). I booked a lakeside AirBnB in a small town in north Georgia. With only two days left in 2018, I packed my bags and headed on my way.
I spent three days in that little cottage, doing nothing but reading, writing, thinking, and praying. It was every introvert's dream, the kind of weekend that made me want to plan trips like this more often.
When I woke up on the last morning of my little getaway, I grabbed a blanket and walked outside to the sit on the back porch. It was cold, but not miserably so. The wind was just strong enough to ripple through the lake while simultaneously sounding the wind chimes hanging nearby. I sat there for about half an hour. No agenda. No journal. Just me, sitting on a porch swing overlooking the lake on a quiet morning.
But even in the simplicity, I felt the presence of the Lord in that moment. Everyone has places or settings where they connect with God and feel His presence more strongly than normal. For me, it's when I'm near the water. That's one of the reasons I booked a house on the lake. Anytime I get the chance to overlook a body of water, I get to observe the vastness, the creativity, and the attention to detail of our God. I am reminded that if He can control the ebb and flow of the water, if He can know the number of creatures beneath the surface, and if He can create every single lake and ocean to look completely different, then He can also know exactly what's going on in my life and is in complete control of all of my circumstances.
I smiled softly at this reminder as I stared out over the water that morning, soaking in that moment of peace, despite the fact that there were a few major aspects of my life at the time that felt anything but peaceful. In the weeks and months leading up to that final weekend of the year, I had been wrestling a lot. I felt stressed. I felt unsettled. And I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to go to feel settled. All I knew is that where I found myself at that point in my life was not where I was supposed to be long term. Of that I was very sure.
As my time on the porch came to a close, I stood up and leaned against the railing, taking one last look at the water before I went inside to pack my things. And in that final moment on the porch, without any prompting or reasoning, three words popped into my head:
Change is coming.
Change is coming? Where in the world did that come from? What was that supposed to mean?
Change is coming.
Those three words just kept repeating themselves over and over again, like an old scratched CD that gets stuck on the same line in a song. Change is coming. Change is coming. Change is coming.
My gut reaction was to get excited. There were a lot of things about my life that I wanted to change. So change would be a good thing right? “But wait…” I thought, “Lord, is that from you?” I prayed silently, still standing on the back porch. “Because God, if it’s not, you better let me know now, because I do not want to get my hopes up if change isn’t actually going to happen.”
But the words just kept replaying themselves. Change is coming.
Thankfully, the Lord didn’t leave me hanging with those three words alone. It didn’t take long for me to come across a verse I ended up returning to quite often throughout the year - Isaiah 43:10.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Now that was something I could get excited about! I had been praying for months for God to do new things in my life. I was asking Him to do a new thing in my job, in my relationship status, in my friendships, in my dreams and goals. So if change was coming in 2019, I was more than ready for it.
And boy, did change come.
When I think about my life this time last year, pretty much everything about it looks completely different.
I’ve had three different jobs.
I got in and out of a relationship.
I moved to a different apartment.
I found out my best friend is having a baby.
My parents sold my childhood home.
And those are just the major parts of my life that changed. I won’t even begin to list all of the little details that got switched around this year. So from a 30,000 foot view, my circumstances proved that God wasn’t kidding when He put “Change is coming” on my heart at the end of last year.
But the more I’ve thought about, I don’t think God was referring solely to my circumstances changing. When He said change was coming, I think He was talking about me.
Without a doubt, 2019 has been the most growth filled year I’ve ever experienced. And I’ve learned firsthand how growth doesn’t come without challenges, without pain, and without change. But even in the midst of the challenges, the pain, and the changes, so much good has come from everything I’ve walked through this year, good that I didn’t even think was possible.
After quitting my job in March without knowing my next step, I learned to trust God wholeheartedly when He asks you to take a leap of faith, even when (especially when) you don’t know where you’re going to land.
Hearing my mom say they sold their house taught me to soak up every moment and to cherish every memory you have the pleasure of making, because you never know when a season of your life is going to end.
Moving to a different apartment showed me how sometimes a change in scenery, no matter how small, can be exactly what you need after you go through a rough patch.
Even in getting my heart broken, God allowed me to use my story to encourage other women who were experiencing their own painful and unforeseen circumstances.
I could go on and on talking about each of the moments I’ve seen God work in me and speak to me throughout this year. But I'll save all the nitty gritty details for my journals, because I know this is getting kind of long. The point I’m trying to make though, is this:
When your circumstances change, God changes you too.
My prayer is that you’ll remember that truth as you go into a new year and a new decade. Change is inevitable. Seasons come and go. People say hello and goodbye. And this time next year, there will probably be a lot of things about your life that won’t look the same. But if I was a betting woman, I’d say that this time next year, you probably won’t be the same either.
In my case, when I compare Kristen today to Kristen 365 days ago, I see a big difference. I see a girl with big goals that she’s finally working towards and not just dreaming about. I see a girl who is courageous, a word she never would have used to describe herself in the past. I see a girl with more stories of God’s provision and faithfulness that she can now write about and speak about to encourage the people around her. And I see a girl who has learned to fearlessly jump with both feet, knowing that even though she couldn't see the ground, she could trust the One who always can.
By default, I’ve always been someone who doesn’t like change. I more prefer consistency and certainty. But if 2019 has taught me anything, it’s that change is one of the best things that can ever happen to us. So whatever changes God has in store for this new year, for me and for you, let’s look forward with hopeful anticipation to the fact that He can not only change our circumstances, but He can change us, too.