Are You Settling For A Secondhand Relationship With Jesus?

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. – James 4:8

I’ve recently gotten hooked on watching videos of people getting facials on TikTok. I don’t know if that makes me lame or weird or just old, but I don’t care. It’s so relaxing.

I tend to watch them at night as I’m winding down and getting ready for bed. I watch the esthetician apply (what I assume to be) good-smelling products to her client’s face. I watch her massage the client’s shoulders, arms, and scalp. It looks like a heavenly experience. As I am entranced by the video, I can almost feel as if I’m the one receiving the facial.

But then I bounce back to reality, and I realize with much disappointment that I’m sitting in a chair in my living room, barely awake, while I watch someone else enjoy an incredibly relaxing experience. Sure, I’m relaxed too, but not in the same way that the client who’s receiving the facial is relaxed. She’s getting to experience all of that pampering firsthand, while I’m just an observer, a bystander.

If you think about it, we can find ourselves in a similar position when it comes to our faith. We watch someone else have a thriving relationship with Jesus. We hear about their quiet time routines. We learn about their spiritual disciplines. We listen to them talk about what God is teaching them and how they’re growing in their faith. And sure, it might encourage us to hear that. But hearing about someone else’s walk with Jesus is very different from having your own.

Just like when I watch someone else get a facial on TikTok, I’m not actually experiencing anything for myself. It’s a secondhand experience, and it just doesn’t cut it. Trust me, I’ve had a facial before. And actually getting a facial is a million times better than watching a video of someone else getting one.

So why, then, do we settle for the little morsels of encouragement we get from hearing about someone else’s relationship with Jesus instead of being intentional about developing our own? Why do we think that listening to a pastor preach once a week will satisfy the spiritual cravings we have deep down inside of us over the course of the rest of the week? Why do we think reading that one verse or quote our friend posted on Instagram will sustain us instead of diving into God’s Word for ourselves and learning what He wants to teach us firsthand?

The truth is friend, having a secondhand relationship with Jesus will always leave you wanting. You’ll never feel fulfilled living vicariously through someone else’s walk with Christ. You have to build, develop, and nurture your own relationship with Him. You have to spend time with Him. You have to talk to Him. You have to listen to Him. You have to pursue Him. You can’t let someone else do it for you and expect to have a thriving, close relationship with the Lord.

So if you’ve been relying on someone else to make you feel close to Jesus or to experience a relationship with Him, I hope today will be the day you choose to quit settling for a secondhand relationship with Jesus. I pray that today you will begin to pour into that relationship yourself, that you’ll dig into God’s Word on your own, and as a result, you’ll experience all of the amazing things that happen when you wholeheartedly pursue your Heavenly Father.