What My Little Sister Taught Me About Setting An Example

A few months back, I was at my parents’ house looking for some documents I needed to file my taxes (#adulting). In my search for these documents, I walked over to the filing drawer in my mom’s office and looked through the files until I found the one marked “Kristen.” I pulled out the green paper file and began flipping through old report cards, college acceptance letters, and car registrations. 

As I followed this paper trail down memory lane, I stumbled across a single sheet of notebook paper with what looked like a teenager's handwriting on it. At first glance, I figured it must have been an essay I wrote for a school assignment that my mom had decided to keep. But as I began to read it, I realized it was actually I paper written by my little sister, Danielle, when she was in middle school.

The assignment had been to write a three-paragraph essay about someone who you believe should have a holiday celebrated in their honor. And to my surprise as I began to read the essay, Danielle chose to write about me. I say I was surprised because while it's true that Danielle and I get along great now, we did plenty of things to annoy each other when we were growing up. I would boss her around a lot, acting like I had way more authority than I actually did. She would borrow my clothes when I wasn't home and then forget to return them. You know, typical sister things. Not to mention despite our twin-like appearance, there is actually a seven year age gap between us, which brought its own set of challenges.

But as I began to read this essay my sister wrote, I realized that she didn't include any of those things in her writing, even though she had every right to. Instead, at the age of 12, she was very kind and gracious with her words, way more kind and gracious than I deserved. Here's an excerpt of the essay:

"My sister Kristen is a very inspirational person! In my opinion, she would be a great person to celebrate. She is very helpful towards other people, and most importantly, she is one of the strongest Christians I know. Kristen is so helpful in everything she does. She is always helping people with their school work, including the students she tutors. She helps my parents with anything they need, and she is always in a very happy spirit when she helps people. 

My sister is one of the godliest people I have ever met. She is very trusting in the Lord. She does her quiet time every morning she can, and she is always referring to the Bible when she is helping people or just talking. As you can see, Kristen is a very inspiring person, and I think she would be a great person to celebrate a holiday for!"

I just sat there and cried when I read this essay sitting in my mom's office that day. I had no idea that this is how Danielle saw me. I had no idea how closely she was watching me as I went about my life each day. But I was so grateful that she had chosen to point out the good she saw despite my bossiness and lack of patience with her that I wish I hadn't so often had.

I've been an older sibling since I was two-years-old, but it's only been within the past handful of years I've realized just how much my siblings watched me and paid attention to what I did and didn't do as we grew up. I'm not telling this story in an attempt to toot my own horn. Trust me, I know from looking back on my life, as well as talking to my siblings, that I wasn't the perfect sister. I made plenty of mistakes. But I'm thankful that my siblings also saw the good work God has done in my life, for it's only because of Him that there's any good in me in the first place.

If having younger siblings has taught me anything, it's that someone is always watching you. It might be your little brother or sister. It might be your friends. It might be your friends' kids. It might even be someone who follows you on social media. Regardless, people are watching how you live your life. They're taking note of how you treat other people, of the words you use (and don't use), of how you spend your time and resources, and how you follow Jesus.

My hope in telling you this story is that if you're not already doing so, you begin to live your life in a way that sets a positive, godly example to the people around you. You have the opportunity to influence every single person God allows you to cross paths with, so why not influence them for the better? Why not live in a way that points them towards Christ? You never know how one decision, one remark, or one action could stick with someone.