The Best Advice My Mom Ever Gave Me

After I graduated college, I interned with a local non-profit where I helped coordinate church-planting internships for college students and graduates. I loved my job, and I was very comfortable in my job. So when my boss and teammates started asking me if I would want to do one of these church-planting internships in Los Angeles, I was quick to decline. I would say, "I like being behind the scenes. I'll just stay where I'm at." But as time passed, more people encouraged me to take the internship. And as I started praying about it, I felt very strongly that the Lord was leading me to take this step of faith. 

But before I could commit, I wanted to get my parents' blessing. Sure, I was an adult that could make my own decisions, but I still valued my parents' opinions and guidance, so I wanted their input. If I'm being honest, I figured my mom would be the toughest sell. Seven weeks in Los Angeles was a long time to be so far from home. Not to mention I wouldn't be getting paid for this internship. I still had car payments to make, insurance and a phone bill to pay for, and a search for a full-time job to postpone. I realized it didn't make the most practical sense, but I knew deep down that the Lord was opening this door for me, and I was supposed to walk through it.

That was exactly what I told my parents that night in April of 2015 at our kitchen table. They listened closely, not showing any sign of whether or not they thought this was a good idea. When I finished giving my pitch, I asked them what they thought.

I'll never forget what my mom said next. 

"Well, I don't really think it matters what we think. If God is calling you to do this, then you need to do it."

I can't even begin to tell you how much confidence, peace, and assurance her statement gave me. It's a statement I've played over and over again in my head ever since, particularly when I'm in a position to make a big or significant decision. 

As much as I desire to please my parents, and as much as I want them to agree with every decision I make, I've learned over the years that pleasing my parents is not my ultimate goal in life. That's not why I was put on this earth. No, I was created in the image of God to follow Jesus, obey His Word, love others the way He loves me, and carry out His will for my life. Pleasing my parents in doing so is just icing on the cake. 

Now, I'm sure I have people reading this blog who fall on the parents' side of this story, and I'm sure there is another big group of us who fall on the kid's side. So I want to take a minute and speak to both of you.

If you're a kid wanting to please your parents: First of all, good for you. Scripture has so much to say about the value of honoring our parents, so your intentions aren't bad if you are wanting to please them. But at the end of the day, the person you should be listening to and obeying above anyone else is your Heavenly Father. That means there might be times when God is leading you to do something, but your parents don't agree or understand your decision-making. From one people-pleaser to another, you're going to have to learn to be okay with that. 

Even though my parents and I mostly see eye to eye, there have been a few decisions I've made where they didn't necessarily line up with my thinking. But in those instances, after spending time in Scripture and prayer, I was confident I was following the Lord's lead. Like my mom said, if God is calling you to do something, you need to do it, regardless of what other people think. And as I took that advice to heart, I've learned that He will never let you down as you walk along His path for you.

If you're a parent who is questioning your kid's decision-making: This doesn't make you a bad parent. In fact, I think it makes you a good parent, because it shows you care about your kids and that you want what's best for them. You don't want to see them mess up, make a mistake, or get hurt. That's exactly what every kid wants in a parent. But if your kid is making a decision you don't necessarily agree with, don't be afraid to ask them about their choice. What's their motivation behind this decision? Have they prayed about it? Have they spent time in the Word looking for godly wisdom and guidance? If they can sit across the table from you and tell you that they've done their due diligence in seeking the Lord, and they are confident He is leading them to make this choice, isn't that what you've raised them to do? 

If you think about this practically, you're not going to be around forever to influence every single decision your child makes. You want them, as followers of Jesus, to turn to their Father in heaven first for guidance, direction, and wisdom so that they make choices that honor Him. Will you always understand every decision your child makes? No. Will your child do some things differently than you would have? Probably. But does that mean they're doing something wrong? Not necessarily. And at the end of the day, if your kid is following the Lord's lead, the best thing you can do is support them. Nothing means more to a child than to know their parents are in their corner. 

I can confidently say that my parents and I have both grown so much over the past couple of years as we've seen God stretch our faith and lead us to do things that may not seem like the best idea from an onlooker's perspective. But if God is calling you to do something, you should do it. Take the leap of faith. Follow His lead, and I promise you'll never, ever regret it.